To respond ....

Hey Eddie,

Hope you take the time to read this, once I stared I couldn’t stop, so given the size of my response thought it was easier to write here, I hope its OK to cut and past your comments to me as a premise for the blog, if not let me know and I will remove it. Same goes with the link to your blog.

To anyone else that is reading this, the following link is where the discussion started if you are interested:
http://thediamondmind.blogspot.com/2009/09/first-noble-truth.html

Eddie: you replied the following, in response to my comments on your blog:

Zoe: don't our actions and the actions of history have reverberations that affect us NOW?

Racism exists NOW. what would you do? sit on your hands while lives are being destroyed? Your bias is that you want to look at things divorced from their context. Essentially you're saying that if I don't point out cause and effect, if I just ignored the reality of injustice and racism, that it will cease to exist or go away. You're projecting onto ME the cause and effect of racism. You don't realize how offensie that is to someone who experiences racism on a daily basis. I won't even get into that.

I'll just observe that's a naive, culturally biased way of looking at REALITY.

To say that there's no problem with suffering is to mistate the point of Buddhism. Finally, the Buddha taught wo things: he taught about suffering and the END of suffering. the implication being that suffering is not enough.

History keeps repeating itself because as a species we become attached to dysfunction. Dysfunction such as racism and injustice. Part of attachment, my friend, is ignorance. Ignorance comes from denial. The present doesn't come out of the blue. the present comes with reverberations of past actions.

If you don't find my posts on racism empowering, it's because that isn't my purpose. My purpose is to tell the truth. It's uncomfortable, it isn't pretty, but that racism exists is a fact. And to sit on your hands waiting for it to go away isn't very empowering.

MLK knew that. He wrote it from a fuckin jail cell. but I'm no MLK, I want to point out that the shit he faught against STILL exists even after all these years.

finally, who gives a fuck if other practicing Buddhists would consider me a buddhits or not? I don't give a shit. what,. we have a Buddhist police in effect? The historical Buddh'as last words were, "Be a lamp iunot yuourselves." there's no need for a ridicoulous poll of other buddhists whether "Eddie" is a buddhist or not.


MY RESPONSE:

Hey Eddie,

No I don’t think the answer is to sit on your hands and sing happy songs and have group hugs, wishing it away.

A lot of what I express is learned from what has been my life, and the observations I have made. I have stories too, and the scariest parts of them I didn’t live, I watched the closest people to me live.

My little brother, who is the person that I have always had the closest bond with, is a recovering heroin addict, let me tell you the life lessons I learnt from that, well, I don’t have to because I am sure you know how it affects the people around you. It was a tough lesson to learn when I worked out my “help” was enabling him, and an even harder concept to change what every part of my soul felt was right, but I did it, and step by step he gets closer to being free. So please don’t assume you know me.

I consider myself very intelligent, (intelligent – not to be mistaken for educated) I left home at 13, lived independt of financial help and family support from 15. I didn’t complete past the 1st year of high school (did the 2nd twice, but failed, due to non attendance predominantly). And I am standing here today with a life and income that people who spend years in books don’t have. I am proud of that.

I am also proud that I am not afraid to give my opinion, and be open to how ignorant (because standing in ignorance and facing it to me means it isn’t so) or uneducated I am. I am proud that I take the time to read and learn from blogs like yours, and not be afraid of the wrath I know you are capable of giving, because of my percieved ignorance, I will stand in that for sure.

You are right, I haven’t lived your life, and I don’t face racism in the context you do, I have however followed your blogs for close to 4 years I would say, so I do know you to the extent you chose to allow me.

Also consider I am a woman and the shade of white that isn’t attractive to most white men, and struggled with my weight for many many years, so I do come up against prejudice (I’m not sure that’s the right word, maybe discrimination?), I spent 31 years and 6 months blaming other people for who they thought I was and how they treated me, now I take responsibility for me and chose to not make it mean anything to me anymore, I am going in directions with my life I only ever dreamed of, and hope that leads to making big change in the world, not just my life.

Its a lot easier to be big, and achieve miracles, when you are not re-living the past.

I also get in a very real way that, what I have been through in comparison to what you talk about doesn’t even compare, so don’t misunderstand me. I am trying to create a relatedness.

I know that you know that I do NOT try to or want to offend you, the reason I speak so freely with what I say is because I believe I cant offend you, partly because you understand that is not my intent, and I also know that if it smells like shit, then too you it is (that’s what you tell me anyway), so if in your view I am talking shit, then it can’t offend you, so I speak freely.

I speak freely because YOU give me the platform to, any less and I think that I would be doing you an injustice, every time we have the opportunity to talk openly and frankly like this, I learn something, and I am sure that you get something from it too.

So please ..... lets be real on that part of your response.

I am not against you Eddie, I am trying to stand next to you.

So ....that’s my rant on your incessant need, blog after blog, to call me arrogant, in denial, ridiculous, bias and naive (to name a few).

I just learnt about a concept that puts context in its place, and that is what I am trying to express, I get that some of it makes no sense whatsoever.

I am as white as they come, my ancestry is English, Irish, German. I couldn’t get a tan if I lived under the sun 24/7, and for a long time I was ashamed of it.

I have made a stand against racism since I was old enough to get what was happening, being white, and from a family that had some racist views that wasn’t easy.

I’d say being aware of how I chose to view a person, distinct from what the color of their skin was, came when I was around 14. Believe me I argued with and offended a lot of white people, from my family to men and women with lots of influence, put alot of things in my life in jeopardy to make that stand. Being WHITE and telling a WHITE person they are racist, gets an interesting response, and it aint pretty (especially when my reason isn’t from an educated place, just an instinct that it is wrong) .... I laughed in their face at their ignorance (literally), and that’s because I could I am not what they are attacking, and I will stand in how ignorant I really was. But my intent was to create change. It didn’t get me very far.

In saying that I was obsessed with men of color from age 10 ish (Michael Jackson was my first pin up on my wall ...followed by milli vanilli (*blushes*) and Boys II Men etc, I guess that in some sense was a rebellion to some degree against my parents also and I do still find African men & American men of color to have something that stands out from any other man, and it’s not just a superficial bias based on looks. I haven’t got to the root of all that yet. Up until 4 months ago I would only date my preference, now I see how limiting and weird that is LOL. However, have not dated outside my preference yet.

Where I have been semi successful in the past, on an individual level (remember I haven’t functioned normally in community before), is that when you get one individual to look at a person as a person, put that in context, there is a shift in how they respond or articulate their racism, now even if that’s only to my face, it means there is some form of shame being formed in them for who they are, racist or prejudice or ignorance.

I am Australian in case you forgot, one of the most racist countries (in my limited, uneducated, view, although after living in Canada, I hear the same rhetoric about the native Indians to some extent), the way we treated our indigenous people was disgraceful, a majority of the views are still disgraceful. Voiced a lot more between people, families etc than in most countries. (much easier to find agreement when its $20 million settlers against 400,000 aboriginals (from what is estimated to have once been $5 million).

Even still, ignoring the indigenous rhetoric, the racism that comes about immigrants that come into Australia is ludicrous, I mean imagine our spoilt white asses having the jobs stolen (that we don’t even want to do because we are too good for it) by a person who isn’t Australian, who does it faster, cheaper, and happier! Even though their dream is to be Australian, and they are excited about the opportunity .... of course we would have a problem with that, being the lucky country and all ...what a joke.

White man disgusts me, with his arrogance and greed. White man is responsible for most of the atrocities on this planet, whether its racism, sexism, capitalism, I mean I could go on forever.

Finally our government changed to Labor.

There are 2 main political parties in Australia, I’ll explain it simply because it’s all I know:

Labour – blue collar / working class
Liberal – white collar – steel from the poor to make the rich richer

Changes every 4 years, based on indiviual compulsary votes by australians over the ate of 18.

We had a liberal government for 8 years, good old John Howard, you might know the name, and because he was bum buddies with your George destroy the world Bush.

So Labour has been in parliament for close to 3 years now, the first thing Kevin Rudd did was apologise to the aboriginal people of Australia, the stolen generation (bunch of mixed kids that were stolen from their black mothers by white men, because clearly they would have no hope otherwise ppfftt) the minute that happened I started to believe that I will one day have pride in my country, something I never believed possible.

The reason Liberals (John Howard) refused to apologise was because then those stolen children might have a means to seek compensation, and of course most of white Australia couldn’t stand that.

I mean imagine being compensated from something that happened that had an adverse affect on your culture and life .... imagine apologising to the people who’s country we stole. You know the ones we raped and pillaged? WHOA .... uproar!

I think that the problem with most things human, is that we don’t put things in their right context at all. What we do is create what it means for us, then put it in what we like to call context.

You said : Continuing to make the same actions and expecting different results is the definition of insanity.

I completely agree, that’s why bringing up the past, which you cant change, instead of creating something new, DOESNT WORK.

WE NEED TO TRY SOMETHING NEW, STOP LIVING IN THE PAST.

I do not under any circumstances mean that, that removes accountability.

Barack Obama is PRESIDENT, there has been change, that would have been perceived impossible in the past, and he did NOT create a campaign that focused about past racism.

The media created the racism, because they didn’t know how else to make it newsworthy, they lived in the past.

HIS campaign was based on what he could do with ALL the injustices that America faces, and he also believed he could do it in the face of a country that was bankrupt.

Thenthere was the other candidates, their campaigns were largely based on the injustices of women in the PAST, with the whole “its time for a woman president” or the whole Palin debacle, lets unite and smash that glass ceiling - America wasn’t fooled by it.

Because Barack Obama simply stood for change. It was something NEW with out any past being the reason it should be so. He is now president.

He is president, even though his ideas and goals were perceived impossible even by the majority who voted for him, but they still voted for him in the hope that the little change they thought he could do would be where they needed, however he is fulfilling all of it.

The recession is ending. Hope is in the air. American citizens will have access to a health care system that works, AMAZING.

On to your comment about me expecting this blog to be empowering, I didn’t say that I wanted this particular blog to be empowering, your creating that assumption from a comment I made in the past. I gave that up after our discussions in a previous blog, I agreed with you that I do not have a right to say what or how you blog, I do still have a right to interpret how I do and give my point of view.

Why are you not another MLK? That’s a ridiculous statement.

One of our mutual favourite quotes is:

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.

Stand in that for a second, and tell me honestly that you dont believe you can be as powerful as MLK.

In closing, look at all the meaning you have put to the question I asked you about polling 100 Buddhists ..... all I wanted was a yes or no answer (ok and maybe some elaboration on why you gave the answer was hoped for but I would have been happy with YES or NO), I didn’t question your faith, I was asking a question, and you still haven’t answered it because you are taking offence and putting meaning to something based on your view on why I asked ..... when you really don’t know why I asked ....

I was a little offended initially, the meaning I chose to put to it was that you not answering me was disrespectful, however after writing this response I realised that even if you did intend to insult me, that actually has nothing to do with me, and I don’t have to make it mean anything, because if that’s so, then the reason you wanted to insult me is because of something in you, that’s not related to me.

I chose to consider that the reason you haven’t answered is because you are listening to the voices of your past and making assumptions about why I asked and making it mean that I am trying to offend you.

Love always
Zoe

Ps. I Love that because of you I have spent 2 hours (maybe 3) on a Friday night, thinking about this and articulating a reply, thank you.

I guess that’s your point in a sense and the reason you write, because this happens, however my point is not everyone thinks like me and/or you, and you don’t agree with how I think either, again I guess that’s the point of why you bother to write and respond, and as for me well you know where I stand ...empowerment = change. I guess we are at a crossroad ;), a crossroad of what I'm not sure, but its there and i am enjoying it anyway.

I am also present that because I don’t write any blogs, I don’t give you the opportunity to respond to me other than defending or explaining your view on something that you created. I am not arrogant enough to expect you to read my blogs, but I will give you the respect of writing, have no idea what about, but I am going to do it.

Clearly I am taking up a lot of room on your page with words (well I was about to before I realized how hard it was going to be to get all this into those damn comment boxes LOL), and should be committing that time to blogs of my own, and then perhaps I can articulate in a more concise and shorter manner on your page.

So, I guess you do inspire and empower me Eddie, which contradicts what I have said in the past, if you read it without putting it in its right context :P

Love you
xx